Yesterday we were inspired by stripes! Today we are asking you “how do you earn your stripes?” Have you ever been emailed: “I’d love to grab a coffee with you and get to know you and your business more?”. Actually what some mean to say is… Can I ask you everything about what you do and how you do it? May I ask you politely back, “Is my time to you worth just a salad and some bread sticks or a few dollars for a coffee?” If the answer is yes, then I don’t know if we are starting off on the right foot : )
We all have to start somewhere. I remember the first email returned back to me when I reached out in this business and I also remember all the emails that were never returned. What did it take though? Me, asking if they’d meet for a latte? It was much more than just that. I’m so thankful for the people along the way who said “yes” to me. They helped me to get to where I am today and therefore I am inspired to pay it forward and help others as much as I can. However as my friend Jose Villa said to me, “We’ve put in our time and have earned our stripes”.
So I ask you: “What are you doing to earn yours?” Are you Taking? or are you Giving?
For many of the wedding business start ups out there: the game has changed so much for you. I can see that via social media, you tweet or facebook a few people and show up to an industry party and you’ve made it! You can go to a workshop or a conference and you’re “in”. You can mentor under someone and voila now you’re in demand and shopping for tv show gigs and you’re a photo shoot guru. Lucky you! This is a different time then when I started and when people way before me started. While I am immensely grateful for the evolution of our industry and enjoy how much we all can learn and grow from one another, I feel that we need to also respect each other’s time and the value of what we each contribute. If you value what I have to offer you then there is a price associated with it and visa versa.
Many of my coaching clients tell me who they would love to get to know and work with more and they ask me me to help them to figure out how they can do this. I always tell them: “Its not what those people can do for you to help you out and your career. If you want to work with them- then think about What you can do for them”. If you want to collaborate and network with them, then what do you offer? What type of value do you bring to the table that would have them accept a meeting or a coffee? It certainly wont be a “can I pick your brain” session that will move them. You want to be featured on blogs? You want to work with your favorite magazines and vendors? Don’t burn bridges by continually taking from those who are kind enough to give. Maybe you should consider investing in their many years of expertise, in advertising with them, or in offering your services gratis to them. Yes, there are a lot of generous people out there, but I would advise us all to not use and abuse our wedding vendor community.
Stop asking: What can they do for you? Start Asking: What Can You Do for Them?
Image via Peonies and Polaroids
Dress by Oscar De La Renta
This post was originally published March ’09
